Here we are. Me at my screen. You at yours. Surrounded by notifications, deadlines, and a to-do list that is longer than a CVS receipt. We are so often checking boxes that we forget to check in. We are business people now, right? Which means we’re too tired and working, eat later and balance less. It’s not personal; it’s just business. We’re not personal; we’re just busyness.
But here’s the thing. In my work as a Spoken Word Artist, I’ve realized that the distance between us isn’t measured in miles, but in the depth of our dialogue. We are starving for a connection that feels less like a transaction and more like a transformation. We want the goosebumps, people! But we keep settling for the grunts.
So, in the spirit of late-night television and the World’s Best top ten lists, let’s diagnose the problem. Are you guilty of conversational auto-pilot? Let’s find out.
Here are the Top 10 Signs You’re Speaking English but Saying Nothing (and how to fix it).
10. You treat the weather like breaking news.
You step onto the elevator. Silence. Panic sets in. And you say, “Hot enough for ya?” or “Looking like rain.” Listen, unless you are a farmer or a gremlin that melts when wet, the weather is not that interesting. We use the atmosphere to avoid the atmosphere in the room. We talk about the humidity because we are afraid to talk about our humanity.
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9. Your default setting is “Fine.”
“How are you?” “Fine.” “How’s work?” “Fine.” “How’s the impending heat death of the universe?” “Fine.” Fine is the F-word of connection. It is the beige paint of conversation. It covers everything and reveals nothing. When you say “fine,” you are telling the other person, “Please do not ask me to unpack the suitcase of my soul right now because I lost the key.”
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8. You speak exclusively in Acronyms.
We need to circle back on the KPI for the ROI ASAP before EOD. Did you get that? Because my heart didn’t. We hide behind the alphabet soup of corporate jargon because it makes us feel smart, but it keeps us from being wise. We are trying to smarten up our language when we should be trying to hearten up our language.
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7. You ask “What do you do?” before “Who are you?”
We are obsessed with the front of the business card. The title. The rank. The status. But the real magic, the Spoken Word Poetry of a human being, is inscribed on the back of the card. The father, the survivor, the marathon runner, the person who still watches cartoons on Saturday morning. When you lead with “What do you do?”, you are asking for a resume recital. When you ask “Who are you?”, you are inviting a story.
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6. You are listening to respond, not listening to understand.
You know that look. The “I am nodding but I am actually just waiting for you to take a breath so I can tell you about my weekend” look. We treat conversation like a game of tennis—just whacking the ball back and forth. But meaningful talk isn’t tennis; it’s catch. You have to catch what they are throwing, hold it, feel the weight of it, and appreciate it before you throw something back.
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5. You haven’t shared a “Scraped Knee” story in years.
We want to present the polished version. The Instagram filter version. But as a Grammy Nominated Poet Sekou—that’s me—I can tell you that people don’t connect with your perfection; they connect with your cracks. If every story you tell ends with a win, you aren’t risking deep enough. Don’t just show me your trophies; show me your scars. That’s where the light gets in.
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4. You’re multi-tasking your eye contact.
Uh-huh. Yeah. Totally. *Scrolls Instagram.* *Checks email.* You are physically present but digitally absent. You are giving someone the back of your attention. We are so connected to the cloud that we have become disconnected from the crowd standing right in front of us. Put the phone down. Look them in the iris. It’s scary, I know. It’s Instapoetry live and direct. But it’s real.
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3. You treat silence like a bomb that needs defusing.
A lull in the conversation happens, and you panic. You throw words at it like sandbags. But sometimes, the most profound moments happen in the whitespace between the words. It’s the breath before the beat drops. It’s the “Golden Hour” of communication. Don’t rush to fill it. Let it sit. Let it breathe.
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2. You mistake data for truth.
You give the facts. The figures. The quarterly projections. But you leave out the feeling. As a Spoken Word Artist, I know that data informs, but story transforms. You can tell your team the numbers are down, or you can tell the story of the struggle and the vision for the rise. One is a memo; the other is a movement. Stop trying to download information and start trying to upload inspiration.
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1. You forgot the Pinky Promise.
This is the big one. The number one sign. You forgot that every interaction is a chance to make someone feel deeply heard. We treat talk like it’s cheap. But words? Words cast spells. That’s why it’s called spelling. When you ask someone how they are, make a pinky promise to yourself that you actually care about the answer. Don’t just exchange pleasantries; exchange energy. Replace the small talk with big talk. Reclaim the Vanguard Artist within you that knows how to paint with conversation.
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Look, I get it. We are busy. We are Leading industries and managing households. But sustainable growth demands personal evolution. And you can’t evolve if you’re stuck on loop.
So this week, I challenge you. Be the Most Inspirational person in the breakroom not because you gave a speech, but because you gave a damn. Disrupt the script. Ask a question that matters. Listen like your life depends on it. Because the quality of your life depends on the quality of your relationships, and your relationships are built one conversation at a time.
I appreciate you. Now go make some waves.
