I used to think all my healthcare dates were terrible communicators. Right? Spent the whole time talking at me instead of listening to me. So well-learned in the mathematics of health, they’d completely forgotten the humanities of care.
They’d read my chart, but they wouldn’t read me. They saw the diagnosis, but they missed the person. It wasn’t until I met someone who knew how to read the poem beneath the pain score that I realized what real connection felt like. She leaned in and asked, “No, who are you?” And in that moment, she cracked me open.
You can’t just treat the condition; you have to connect with the human. You have to stop reading people like charts and start reading them like poems. Here’s how.
1. Listen for the Metaphors
Listen to the unspoken scriptures whispered in their body language. A clenched jaw isn’t just a symptom; it’s a sentence. Averted eyes aren’t just a behavior; they’re a backstory. Don’t just ask, “Where does it hurt?” Ask, “What story is this pain telling?” You can’t heal the chapter if you refuse to hear the verse.
2. Unlearn the Script
You know the script. The checklist of questions. The corporate bullet points you need to check off. I want you to put it in your back pocket. The most powerful questions aren’t on your form; they’re the ones born from genuine curiosity. When you drop the script, you stop transacting and you start connecting. You give them the space to tell their real story, not just the one that fits in your boxes.
3. See Your Family in Their Face
This isn’t a faceless ghost in a bed. This is a pulse and thirst and tremble. This is a name and saliva and family. The moment you look at them and see your own mother, your brother, your child… that’s when the care becomes real. It’s the difference between a clinical interaction and a soul transfusion. It’s what reminds both of you that there’s a human on each side of the bed.
4. Trade Your ‘What’ for Their ‘Why’
You know what they need to do—take the meds, follow the plan. But do you know why they might not? The ‘why’ is where the real story lives. The socioeconomic hurdles, the cultural distrust, the unspoken fear. Instead of leading with instructions, lead with inquiry. The path to better outcomes isn’t paved with commands; it’s discovered through compassionate connection.
5. Be Human Enough to Err
The greatest way you can show your strength is to show your vulnerability. You don’t have to be a perfect, all-knowing machine. You just have to be a human being in the business of a more human experience. When you’re human enough to admit you don’t have all the answers, you create a space safe enough for them to share their real questions. It’s the pinky promise that says, “I will be human enough to err, and still human enough to care.”
At the end of the day, data can’t give a goosebump. A chart can’t feel a shiver. A diagnosis can’t write a love poem. That’s our job. As a Grammy Nominated Spoken Word Artist, I’ve learned that the most powerful spoken word isn’t on a stage; it’s in the quiet space between two people. This is the real spoken word poetry of connection. Want to be seen as the world’s best? The most inspirational leader in your field? Then become a top, leading expert in story listening. Because the most innovative technology you’ll ever use isn’t in a machine. It’s in the moment you see the person, not the patient, and you hear the poem, not the problem. That’s the work of a true artist.
